"Dude. You just slept through Constantine" "I Figured as such"

That just happened. Today was weird.

I'd been laying under my desk listening to windows media's randomization of my Something Corporate (/a little Jack's Mannequin) collection for a long time, and I guess I dozed off toward the end of Space and woke up right after Constantine. Bleh. I'm such a teenager.

Today, I think, was in fact weird. I finished that crazy book last night, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. It was pretty good, I suppose I'd recommend it. It was for that "outside reading" stuff we've got going. It's kind of sad to me that I only read when I have to, I used to read all the time, and you know, I still enjoy it...I guess it just never crosses my mind.

I find that my thought process is extremely different at night. I think of the most irrational things when I'm tired, and come up with these great ideas that, when I wake up in the morning, realize are completely horrible and have many holes in them. I also get bolder at night and have less regard toward having normal or coherent thoughts. That's why I think it's a danger to blog at night, yet I still do it. Sad.

Hey! You! Why are you even reading this blog? I'm generally just rambling along. You should probably read Evan's blog instead. He usually writes, you know, information...with relevance. Sometimes I'm in there too. Interesting stuff.

My eyes hurt. Contacts are stupid crap and I hate them. I only feel like a normal person when I wear glasses. In fact, I can't think of a single advantage of contacts. I've not gotten a single compliment on "a new look" from the ladytypes, but only, in fact one compliment from one of my unneccessarily belligerent campers that I considered to be fully backhanded. He kept saying how I needed to get a tan. I kept thinking in my head how much I would have liked to have been working in the kitchen at that point.

I guess that makes me a pretty bad junior staff, or maybe just that I admitted it. I kind of always wondered if teachers and counselors generally have kids that they just can't stand. They probably do, but at least they never let on.

So, wait, where was I? Wow, I'm so bad at blogging. Seriously. Maybe I'm just tired. I did in fact just wake up, really.

Oh, right, we were on contacts at this point. I could have saved myself some trouble by scrolling up. Yes, I hate contacts. In fact, I'm nearly certain that since I first got contacts, people have started liking me less. Granted, that probably has nothing to do with contacts, and more to do with my disregard for social skills as of late.

It's like I don't have any ettiquette anymore. I avoid people that I consider my friends, just to avoid awkward conversations. I never used to have awkward conversations, but now I just can't ever come up with anything to say. It's like I'm more of a freshman than ever before, looking at the ground and stuff. In fact, I'll even pretend to check my watch only to find I'm not wearing one, and grumble about how I need a watch. Just to break the silence.

Maybe I've been putting too much pressure on myself to keep conversations going...Maybe the people I talk to need to take some initiative and talk.

I don't know. But those of you I can talk to without mass amounts of effort, I applaud you much. Very much indeed. So let's have a party.

I've also seen a major decline in my MSN usage. This is probably a good thing. You know, it's really a big waste of time anyway. I don't believe I've started an MSN conversation in ages. If I talk to people on it, it's because they talk first.

Sometimes I'm afraid to be the one to talk first. Perhaps these people don't really like me...perhaps we'll say five things and the conversation will come to a screeching halt.

Wow, I never realized how much I truly think too much about things. Completely overanalyzing the dumbest things. I'll let Matty T. take you away.

I was thinking, over thinking
Cause there's just too many scenarios
To analyze, look in my eyes
Cause you're my dream - please come true
I was thinking, over thinking
About exactly how i'm not exactly him
I'll break my heart in two
More times than you could ever do
Cause you're my dream - please come true