Keep it goin' louder

I don't know what it is about college, but one school year these days feels like about three.

My first year as a student at UW-Madison is finally over, and it had a whole lot of adjectives. It was hands down the most stressful, difficult, uplifting, exhausting and educational 8 months of my life to date.

I guess I've written a fair amount here about the fall semester, my first at UW, and all of its pitfalls. To recap: Calculus, my 20-hour workweeks, bout of Swine Flu, and emergency appendectomy the week before finals all came together to obliterate any dream of free time and gave me far and away the worst GPA I've ever had for any semester of my life.

A 2.95 isn't unfathomably terrible (I mean, shoot, it's basically a B), but I've always been somewhat defined by my academic achievements. In the span of 2 years, I went from (legitimately) debating whether it was worth the 55 dollars to send in my Harvard application to lying in a hospital bed trying to determine if I was more worried about missing my calc quiz or relieved that I didn't have to go.

That fall semester caused me to come to terms with a few things.
1. Having a good SAT score doesn't guarantee automatic success.
2. Trying to pay for school can't be a higher priority than school itself.
3. The rest of your life isn't decided by four years of college.

I have had a very, very hard time convincing myself of the third thing. It took a disastrous semester and a lot of reevaluation and discussion to get there.

I got to start the spring semester with my head on a bit straighter thanks to a relaxing and enjoyable Christmas break, and made a few changes. I cut my weekly work hours down from 20 to 12, took a different/more qualitative load of courses, and made a point to spend that extra time from not working as much to study and socialize at the Chapel.

And I think those changes, along with whatever other intangibles (like the emergence of a Lakeshore Dorms Bible study this semester) all came together and clicked really well. There were still a lot of incredibly hard nights (or, more accurately, mornings) of cramming, including an all-nighter and an awful lot of day-of paper writing, but I felt able to roll with the punches better. I stayed mostly healthy, the stress seemed manageable, heck, I even got to go to BW3 on Thursdays with Lakeside chaps from time to time. UW-Madison seemed a little more doable.

And doable it was. Applying myself, not spending as much time in gainful employment, and not fretting over every little thing had an incredible impact.

One example that I think summed up the semester was on a Tuesday toward the end of the semester, a day that Jordan and I had 6 free Brewer tickets from our student org. A Tuesday night baseball game is kind of a tough sell toward the end of the school year, and my schedule wasn't exactly forgiving on that date.

None the less, we thought it would be a fun diversion from the last assignment flurry before finals, so I spent the better part of Tuesday morning trying to coordinate plans and travel partners.

However, I was feeling a little burnt out that day, coming off a week of three papers, and I had a paper due Tuesday, right before we were planning on leaving. A paper that was worth 25% of the grade for the semester.

So I wrote the darn thing while texting back and forth with whoever had responded to our offer of Brewer tickets, and we left for Milwaukee after I met with my TA to hand it in. I spent 3 distracted hours writing a paper that counted for a huge part of my grade.

How is that the sign of an improved outlook on school, then? It hardly seems noble to have tossed schoolwork to the back burner in favor of a frivolous weeknight road trip, right?

But here's the thing - I felt that I had to do something like that to change my mindset. I can't allow myself to go to pieces over every little thing that goes wrong in college. So I decided to be confident enough in my abilities that I could do a good job without sacrificing my social life, without always having to say no to things.

5 of us went to the Brewer game. I cheered for the Pirates because they left a Lastings impression on me. It was the most fun I've ever had at a Brewer game, and was one of the last big things I got to do with Caleb before he shipped off.

Oh, and I got a 97 on the paper. And an A for the class.

I didn't get an A for any of my classes last semester. I got A's in three of my four classes this time around.

When the dust had settled, I had a 3.8 for the semester. That's almost a full point swing between semesters, and the feeling was beyond incredible. Good grades aren't easy to come by at Madison, so this semester of 3.8 was far and away more rewarding than probably any other semester I've had.

And I can't help but think that a lot of it comes down to mindset. I allowed myself to take school less seriously this semester and, counter-intuitively, it kept me more focused. I never hit a point of desperation, I never felt crushed by the workload, and therefore I believed that I could tackle whatever was thrown at me. It never came to the point of throwing in the towel that I teetered on the edge of all last fall.

So I've concluded that the fall semester, with its stresses and infirmities, may have served an awesome and incredible purpose to help me learn to better deal with obstacles and to stay positive, even when buried. I hope that I can keep that attitude for the rest of my time at UW, and hopefully I can have similar success for the next two years.

Things look radically different going into Fall '10 than they did going into Fall '09. I've changed my major (hopefully for the last time...) to Economics, I'm one semester away from being completely through with gen eds, and I'm moving from the...silliness, I guess...of dorm life into what I hope will be an active and enriching time as a Chapel resident housefellow.

But a lot has yet to happen between now and then. Who knows what the summer has in store for me? At this point, all I know is that I'll be working 8-4:30, 5 days a week, until late August, and that I will watch as much of the World Cup as I am able. But I haven't had an uneventful summer in some time now, so I'll just wait and see. Surprise me, summer. I'm looking forward to ya.

Semper Fidelis

Sometime this morning, one of my best friends got on a plane to San Diego to begin his time in the United States Marine Corps.

Caleb and I have grown very close over the last two years...we've made some really good memories, but, just as importantly, he's been there for me for some of my biggest learning experiences. Each one of those old posts features some aspect of my life that he was either a part of or had a direct impact on. I have really valued our friendship thus far, and have him to thank for so many good times and for helping me grow as a Christian man.

Therefore, it's difficult for me to fathom a summer without him. He'll be in basic training most of the summer, and I won't get to talk to him again until, at earliest, August. It's tough for me to think about, and I can only imagine what it's like for his family or Anna.

But I know that this is something that's really important for him. I remember how much it meant to him to get into the Naval Academy, and how crushed he was when he narrowly missed the cut. He has a genuine desire to serve his country, and his chance to do so is now. I know how driven he is to succeed and I know he'll work his tail off to get the most out of it that he can.

So while it's sad for me to say goodbye to a close friend for such a long time (along with the added uncertainty that comes with the possibility of plenty more military service down the road), I'm excited for him to be able to fulfill his dream of serving in the Marine Corps.

I wish him God's blessings on his time in the Marines, God's protection if he is ever deployed in battle, and for God to give him the strength to be the best Marine he can be.

So for now, good buddy, I'll be praying for you. I'll toast ya with a Sun Drop and (discreetly) listen to Taylor Swift in your honor.

Now go off to San Diego and give 'em hell...I'll have the cigars ready when you're done.