Friday, December 31, 2010

Oh you fancy, huh?

In which I judge how I did on this year's resolutions

Relationships

1. Finish the year proud of the relationship decisions I've made.
I didn't get a girlfriend or a date or any of that, but that wasn't the goal this year. I had to sort out of a lot of other things in my life and not let other distractions get in the way of that. And I didn't, getting some confidence back and a better head on my shoulders in the process. Certainly something worth being proud of, and something to build off of for sure.

Experiences
2. Take a new pineapple picture
If you insist.

3. Attend an NHL game
All right, I know it's sort of a cop out, but I'm going to give myself half-credit on this one. No, I did not make the trek outside of Wisconsin to catch a pro hockey game in 2010, but my parents did give me tickets to the Tampa Bay Lightning-Minnesota Wild game in St. Paul for my birthday. So I at least got tickets this year, even if I won't go until April of next year. Assuming I'll get to wrap it up into an MLC trip weekend, it might be near the top of the growing list of things I'm really looking forward to next year.

4. Watch the DVD of "Hotel Rwanda" that I own
Just watched it yesterday! It's been sitting on my desk literally all year, and I always put it off assuming I'd eventually find the time. It was a good film. It was quite moving at parts, definitely pretty heavy in a lot of ways. Don Cheadle had a very impressive performance. Also, it's probably like the first time I've ever watched a movie alone.

5. Drive in a state that I haven't driven in before.
I actually bagged two new states this year, running my total up to seven. I drove in Iowa for the first time, from Des Moines to Davenport during my summer road trip, and I drove in Colorado on the drive home as we picked up Evan from New Mexico at the end of summer. Colorado especially was kind of interesting, getting to drive in a mountainous region, and also navigating our big conversion van through Denver. I really liked this resolution, since it forced me to bat around ideas of road trips, so I may very well make it a part of 2011's.

6. Celebrate Stabby the Green Pepper Day
It's second nature now.

Personal Improvement/Achievement
7. Get a legitimate summer internship with a legitimate company.
No dice. I didn't put in nearly the effort to get an internship this year as I had the year before, but it's a different story when you have the safety net of a job. I worked full time all summer at Target and that worked out just fine, as I got good hours (8-4:30 all week) and flexibility on my days off, something that clearly came in handy for watching world cup games and other social events.

8. Play soccer competitively
Not surprisingly, this never went down, as I was just too busy for it. I got to play a few pickup games while the weather was still warm, so hopefully I'll be able to keep that up.

9. Do something creative on a large(r than usual) scale
I didn't really get a chance to do this in 2010. Well, my friends and I continued our series of nonsense Saw parodies that started in like...2004, and "Saw IV - Rise of the Vice-BROsident" most assuredly has potential, but it was more screwing around than something on a larger than usual scale. I just don't have the motivation or time to devote to it that I used to, and I'm not the type whose creativity simply bursts at the seams if I don't have an outlet. Maybe I just used it all up on Loaded Questions answers.

10. Serve the Chapel in a capacity that I have not yet served
Yep, I've been a housefellow for a few months now, which has led to all sorts of service capacities. It's been a good experience thus far.

11. Go Running
...Not enough to be able to count it as a successful resolution. If I would just run to class, but that presents its own problems.

12. Swear less
I would say so. Darn straight. (See??)

13. Pay off my sophomore year student loans
I was unable to do so. I came awfully close, and a few decisions like going on a summer road trip probably made the difference, but that's all right. I'm barely in debt, especially when compared to most college students, and it's better to make memories like that while I still can.

14. Accomplish at least half of my New Year's Resolutions (8.5 out of 14)
Yeah! And this year I didn't even need to use the loophole of the last resolution to do so!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Original Six

...a bygone era which produced gems like this. My dad loved that commercial.

Well, it's that time of year again. December 12th, the day that the otherwise infrequently-updated Flight 109 gets pulled off the high shelf in the garage, dusted off, and given one or two tweaks just in time for New Year's.

I recognize that it's a bit strange to celebrate the longevity of a blog that is, for all intents and purposes, barely breathing. However, every time I think back to the lifespan of this bad boy, I can't help but get a little nostalgic about the six(!) years chronicled on this orange and blue database of all things Blake. While I don't do a very good job with the upkeep of this place, I love it too much to just let it die now. I know that I often come off as mostly even-keel and unaffected (unless Michelle Branch is playing at a party), but I'm such a sentimental guy at the heart of it...therefore I'm so thankful I've been writing here as long as I have, so I can keep looking back at all the memories, good and bad, since freshman year of high school.

So forgive my inconsistency, but here's to the sixth year of Flight 109 - with a sincere hope that I'll be writing about year number seven a year from now.

I should probably write a few things about what's been going on in my life since my crushing Iron Ned defeat on July 15th of this year. Let's see if I can summarize a few of the points for the sake of history keeping.

-August brought a weekend road trip with 3 others to St. Louis and Kansas City, resulting in a lot of soccer watching and some of the best barbecue in the country. It was so much fun...I just like to travel for the sake of traveling, but the combination of great food, great friends and new exploration has us trying to plan out our next road trip. Such a blast.

-Soon after, I moved into the chapel and began my time as a resident house fellow. I get to live here for free in exchange for several hours a week of reception, maintenance, and various other odd jobs. It's been a really good experience all told. The digs are pretty nice and I mostly get along with the 7 other guys on the job.

-School has been way busy. My economics studies are going fine, and I'm perfectly okay with sticking to this major for the remainder of my time here. However, it doesn't change the fact that I can't wait to be done with college.

-That said, I've had more to get excited about this school year than in some years past, especially last year. One of the highlights of this school year has been going to my first two Badger home football games since 1999. I had the honor of getting to attend our victory over the then-#1 ranked Ohio State Buckeyes, as well as our clinching of a Rose Bowl berth. Two games in ten years, two field rushes. I like to get the bang for my buck.

I think that's pretty much it for filling things in. Obviously I glossed a whole lot of items, but what are ya gonna do, hey?

My favorite thing to do (blog-wise) around this time of year is to turn the clock back a year and compare my standing in life now to where it was back then, head-to-head.

I'm gonna go ahead and take 2010 in a landslide.

Last year's anniversary post was titled "Five Alive" and is one of the shortest posts I've ever had. I remember vividly the circumstances surrounding it. That semester was part of probably the hardest six months of my life, and it culminated in my emergency appendectomy right before finals. I managed to keep the mood fairly upbeat in that post, despite the fact that I still had fresh scars across my stomach and I hadn't eaten solid food in 2 days.

I followed up that post with a detailed recap of my appendicitis episode, which was in turn followed by a mention of the year's last sucker-punch - the passing of my grandma. But if you keep reading, you'll find that life gets better almost the moment the clock strikes midnight and 2010 begins.

2010 starts with a new set of resolutions, a trip to Tampa which qualified as my most refreshing vacation ever, some excitable posts about job searching, the Winter Olympics and an all-nighter, a spur-of-the-moment Bible study, my favorite post ever, a couple about the state of the summer, and a post talking about how much better 2010 already was than 2009.

All of that stuff, combined with the brief recap I've tossed at ya at the onset of this post, has made for a much, much better year than 2009. While I acknowledge that you had the easiest act to follow ever, ya did good, 2010. You didn't have the soaring highlights of, say, 2008, but your challenges were easier to handle than 2009's. Maybe it's because I'm a year older and wiser, maybe it's because I've learned how to temper my expectations, maybe it's because I'm listening to a really good song right now, but I think I'm always going to look back at 2010 as the year I got back on track.

That leads me to have high hopes for 2011...now that I've got my down year and my comeback year behind me, here's where I can hopefully put it all together. I've met and grown closer to a lot of new people in 2010, some of whom I really hope will play bigger roles in my life from here to come.

I've always seen myself as a hopeful person. My worst moods can get me sounding cynical and fatalist, but deep down, I've always gotten by on the hope that things will get better. Maybe that's why I feel so good about this past year as it comes to a close. A lot of my goals remain unaccomplished - I never got that internship, I've been single for over 2 years - but I am in position for some of these things now! My confidence is on its way back. 2008 had me as cocky as could be, 2009 made sure I stopped being so full of myself and humbled me in so many ways, and 2010...well, 2010 may have just helped me strike a balance. So overall, my year wasn't perfect, but I sincerely believe that, years from now, I will look back at 2010 as the year that made 2011 great. As a transition from growing pains to adulthood.

And I know that 2010 isn't over yet either...I've got 5 finals in the next week, then my birthday, Christmas and my favorite holiday - New Year's. It's a chance to make a fresh start. It's a symbol of hope.

I like New Year's so much that I actually post around then every year. I obviously won't have time to update until then, but in a couple weeks I'll be back to take a look at whether I accomplished at least half of my 2010 resolutions (It's gonna be close!) and I'll pick a bunch of new resolutions for 2011. They're gonna be good ones. Good resolutions for a good year.

Here's hopin', at least.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Iron Ned: A Running Commentary

Recently, I helped engineer plans for a pasta-cooking competition between some friends. For some reason, we all thought it would be fun to bring home-made pasta dishes to a party at my friend's house, to be judged by his foodie father, whose name is Ned. Ned will name one dish the winner, and its chef will earn the vaunted "Golden Spatula" trophy, which I'm sure will be an old spatula spray-painted gold. We decided to call it "Iron Ned" (get it???) and, unlike most ideas concocted at 2 AM, we're actually going through with it.

Well, Iron Ned is tomorrow, so it's clearly time to prepare for it.

Aaaaaaand, I have basically no idea how to cook anything.

But I'm committed to doing this on my own. I am home alone, armed with nothing more than the internet, some cookbooks, and the means to go to Sentry and purchase ingredients. A year and a half ago, I made a New Year's resolution to learn how to cook passably. I obviously didn't accomplish that one, but tonight is a start. The Golden Spatula shall be mine.

Let's start this trainwreck.

--All right, time to look for recipes. I have the internet at my disposal, but I think I'll try the old-fashioned art of the cookbook to begin with. We've got a bunch in the kitchen, so let's give it a shot, huh!

--If you're in the market for a cookbook, don't purchase "Cooking for the Heart"

--This old Lakeside band cookbook has to have some gems, eh?

--Hmm, couldn't find a winner. You'll never fool me with your "moist bread stuffing," Dr. Gulczynski. Never.

--The internet offers slightly better results. Giada de Laurentiis is so flippin' cute. The fact that she is so cute makes her recipes slightly suspect, though. I mean you KNOW Paula Deen didn't get on TV for her high-school-crush good looks.

--The first Google auto-complete when you type in "Giada de Laurentiis" is "Giada de Laurentiis breast size." I hate the internet SO MUCH. A buncha creeps out there.

--All right, I've settled on "Penne with Sun-dried Tomato Pesto." Sounds doable, reasonably classy, and doesn't require a king's ransom of ingredients. I'm looking to keep the price down, ideally.

--A quick sweep of the cupboards suggests that I'm going to have to audible into "Rotini with Sun-dried Tomato Pesto." I doubt that it makes a huge difference. Welp, off to Sentry to supplement my recipe.

--I was mostly covered from our pantry, but I have returned from Sentry with sun-dried tomatoes (I would hope!) and fresh basil. Now we begin.

--Aw, shucks, the recipe called for fresh garlic, but I looked at the store and then decided that garlic powder would stand in well enough. Little did I know that our garlic powder has been expired for 2 years. I had assumed we used it more often than that. Well now what?

--In my search up and down the kitchen for a garlic replacement, I have instead located the remnants of a tub of strawberry frozen yogurt. Maybe like 5-7 teaspoons in there.

--In my sadness of being unable to find a suitable garlic replacement, I have succumbed to the temptation of frozen yogurt. Hair of the dog, it wasn't too bad.

--Dangit! MLS game of the week is on! What a distraction! Oh well, Seattle vs. DC isn't that good of a matchup anyway. Focus, Blake. Do it for Giada.

--All right, still trying to solve the garlic problem. I guess I'll check my pride and return to Sentry. I hope garlic doesn't cost too much. Ned had better love this dish.

--Zuccess! We have some minced garlic in the fridge! It'll have to do. Now let's rock.

--How about some cooking music? The new Kanye single, "Power" gets me pumped. I'll add it to the expected playlist of TI, Maino and Major Lazer. Rap cooking.

--This smells amazing. I'm distinctly Mario Batali. I could stand to gain some weight though, if that is what I aim for.

--Grating some Pecorino Romano. The recipe calls for Parmesan, but I'm not afraid to go above and beyond. My Italian roots are coming way in handy here, see. I might add that fresh basil makes a huge difference. Go big or go home, when it comes to basil.

--Of course, cooking takes way longer when you blog about it. There's a lot of waiting for the ol' water to boil though.

--Just blended my sauce. I'm pleasantly surprised. My parents are home now and I had them try a little bit. My half-Italian mother and my formerly-a-restaurant-head-chef father both liked it. On that note, if both my parents have good cooking pedigrees, why am I roughly as capable as a Sim in the kitchen? No comical fires yet though, fortunately.

--My whole grain rotini is cookin'. I'm still bumpin' some beats. Takin' the "g" off of words endin' in "ing" is SO DOPE. So is the word "dope."

--Pasta is drained, sauce is stirred in and I will finish my dish to the sound of "No Man's Land" by B.o.B. It's good pasta music.

--First taste: Oh man, this is good stuff. I wouldn't have expected it to turn out this nicely at all. The fresh basil, the Pecorino cheese and the special ingredient (hint: the special ingredient is obviously love) really made it. My parents enjoy it as well, and I'm really hoping they're not just humoring me. Trying to speak as objectively as possible, I have to say I'd eat it even if I hadn't made it.

--I'm feeling good about my chances of taking home Iron Ned's Golden Spatula. Even better, now I've got a signature pasta dish ready to go for one of those adorable guy-cooks-for-the-girl dates. Clearly that's the most important thing. Thanks, movies, for teaching me everything there is to know about relationships.

My pasta is all packed up and ready to go. Tomorrow night my potential and ability as a chef will be (casually) tested. I personally think the dish turned out well, but we'll see what it's like once someone outside of my family tries it. Either way, it was a lot of fun making it and I have to say I'd be curious to start cooking a little more. It's definitely rewarding.

I've been meaning to do a summer update post, but that'll have to wait until another day. With the World Cup over and my transition from working to housefellow-ing in sight, I'm sure I'll finally find some time to post soon. Til then, good night, readers. Good night, Giada. Good night, Moon.

UPDATE: Second place will have to do, as my dish, later titled "Romatini di Mazzoca" (One's a made up Italian word, the other a bygone Italian name in my ancestry), placed highest in the categories of lasting impression and description but fell just short. Next time...

Monday, May 31, 2010

Keep it goin' louder

I don't know what it is about college, but one school year these days feels like about three.

My first year as a student at UW-Madison is finally over, and it had a whole lot of adjectives. It was hands down the most stressful, difficult, uplifting, exhausting and educational 8 months of my life to date.

I guess I've written a fair amount here about the fall semester, my first at UW, and all of its pitfalls. To recap: Calculus, my 20-hour workweeks, bout of Swine Flu, and emergency appendectomy the week before finals all came together to obliterate any dream of free time and gave me far and away the worst GPA I've ever had for any semester of my life.

A 2.95 isn't unfathomably terrible (I mean, shoot, it's basically a B), but I've always been somewhat defined by my academic achievements. In the span of 2 years, I went from (legitimately) debating whether it was worth the 55 dollars to send in my Harvard application to lying in a hospital bed trying to determine if I was more worried about missing my calc quiz or relieved that I didn't have to go.

That fall semester caused me to come to terms with a few things.
1. Having a good SAT score doesn't guarantee automatic success.
2. Trying to pay for school can't be a higher priority than school itself.
3. The rest of your life isn't decided by four years of college.

I have had a very, very hard time convincing myself of the third thing. It took a disastrous semester and a lot of reevaluation and discussion to get there.

I got to start the spring semester with my head on a bit straighter thanks to a relaxing and enjoyable Christmas break, and made a few changes. I cut my weekly work hours down from 20 to 12, took a different/more qualitative load of courses, and made a point to spend that extra time from not working as much to study and socialize at the Chapel.

And I think those changes, along with whatever other intangibles (like the emergence of a Lakeshore Dorms Bible study this semester) all came together and clicked really well. There were still a lot of incredibly hard nights (or, more accurately, mornings) of cramming, including an all-nighter and an awful lot of day-of paper writing, but I felt able to roll with the punches better. I stayed mostly healthy, the stress seemed manageable, heck, I even got to go to BW3 on Thursdays with Lakeside chaps from time to time. UW-Madison seemed a little more doable.

And doable it was. Applying myself, not spending as much time in gainful employment, and not fretting over every little thing had an incredible impact.

One example that I think summed up the semester was on a Tuesday toward the end of the semester, a day that Jordan and I had 6 free Brewer tickets from our student org. A Tuesday night baseball game is kind of a tough sell toward the end of the school year, and my schedule wasn't exactly forgiving on that date.

None the less, we thought it would be a fun diversion from the last assignment flurry before finals, so I spent the better part of Tuesday morning trying to coordinate plans and travel partners.

However, I was feeling a little burnt out that day, coming off a week of three papers, and I had a paper due Tuesday, right before we were planning on leaving. A paper that was worth 25% of the grade for the semester.

So I wrote the darn thing while texting back and forth with whoever had responded to our offer of Brewer tickets, and we left for Milwaukee after I met with my TA to hand it in. I spent 3 distracted hours writing a paper that counted for a huge part of my grade.

How is that the sign of an improved outlook on school, then? It hardly seems noble to have tossed schoolwork to the back burner in favor of a frivolous weeknight road trip, right?

But here's the thing - I felt that I had to do something like that to change my mindset. I can't allow myself to go to pieces over every little thing that goes wrong in college. So I decided to be confident enough in my abilities that I could do a good job without sacrificing my social life, without always having to say no to things.

5 of us went to the Brewer game. I cheered for the Pirates because they left a Lastings impression on me. It was the most fun I've ever had at a Brewer game, and was one of the last big things I got to do with Caleb before he shipped off.

Oh, and I got a 97 on the paper. And an A for the class.

I didn't get an A for any of my classes last semester. I got A's in three of my four classes this time around.

When the dust had settled, I had a 3.8 for the semester. That's almost a full point swing between semesters, and the feeling was beyond incredible. Good grades aren't easy to come by at Madison, so this semester of 3.8 was far and away more rewarding than probably any other semester I've had.

And I can't help but think that a lot of it comes down to mindset. I allowed myself to take school less seriously this semester and, counter-intuitively, it kept me more focused. I never hit a point of desperation, I never felt crushed by the workload, and therefore I believed that I could tackle whatever was thrown at me. It never came to the point of throwing in the towel that I teetered on the edge of all last fall.

So I've concluded that the fall semester, with its stresses and infirmities, may have served an awesome and incredible purpose to help me learn to better deal with obstacles and to stay positive, even when buried. I hope that I can keep that attitude for the rest of my time at UW, and hopefully I can have similar success for the next two years.

Things look radically different going into Fall '10 than they did going into Fall '09. I've changed my major (hopefully for the last time...) to Economics, I'm one semester away from being completely through with gen eds, and I'm moving from the...silliness, I guess...of dorm life into what I hope will be an active and enriching time as a Chapel resident housefellow.

But a lot has yet to happen between now and then. Who knows what the summer has in store for me? At this point, all I know is that I'll be working 8-4:30, 5 days a week, until late August, and that I will watch as much of the World Cup as I am able. But I haven't had an uneventful summer in some time now, so I'll just wait and see. Surprise me, summer. I'm looking forward to ya.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Semper Fidelis

Sometime this morning, one of my best friends got on a plane to San Diego to begin his time in the United States Marine Corps.

Caleb and I have grown very close over the last two years...we've made some really good memories, but, just as importantly, he's been there for me for some of my biggest learning experiences. Each one of those old posts features some aspect of my life that he was either a part of or had a direct impact on. I have really valued our friendship thus far, and have him to thank for so many good times and for helping me grow as a Christian man.

Therefore, it's difficult for me to fathom a summer without him. He'll be in basic training most of the summer, and I won't get to talk to him again until, at earliest, August. It's tough for me to think about, and I can only imagine what it's like for his family or Anna.

But I know that this is something that's really important for him. I remember how much it meant to him to get into the Naval Academy, and how crushed he was when he narrowly missed the cut. He has a genuine desire to serve his country, and his chance to do so is now. I know how driven he is to succeed and I know he'll work his tail off to get the most out of it that he can.

So while it's sad for me to say goodbye to a close friend for such a long time (along with the added uncertainty that comes with the possibility of plenty more military service down the road), I'm excited for him to be able to fulfill his dream of serving in the Marine Corps.

I wish him God's blessings on his time in the Marines, God's protection if he is ever deployed in battle, and for God to give him the strength to be the best Marine he can be.

So for now, good buddy, I'll be praying for you. I'll toast ya with a Sun Drop and (discreetly) listen to Taylor Swift in your honor.

Now go off to San Diego and give 'em hell...I'll have the cigars ready when you're done.

Monday, April 05, 2010

Business as Usual

I often joke about being a businessman. Whether it's seriously overdressing for my retail job or making completely bogus, off-the-cuff marketing consultations to actual companies, I have worked to build a facetious persona of faux-professionalism.

So when spring break rolled around this year and I didn't have any major travel plans, I figured what better to do than to be a businessman? After I decided on a theme for my spring break I made a point to take an accompanying photo for each of the four points of being a true businessman.

I'm ridiculous.

Business as usual.

I. Golf Outings
When I started golfing almost two years ago during the magical summer of 2008, it was mostly for the fun of it, but also partially due to my knowledge that a lot of business is done on the golf course. After the torrid pace of golfing done by my high school friends (Caleb Meyer in particular) and myself during that first summer, I slowed down a bit last summer with only about 45 holes of golf or so. However, Caleb and I decided to get an early start on the links this year (especially because he won't be able to golf anymore once he leaves for the Marines in a month), knocking out a relaxed nine holes on one of my days off. Caleb and I have probably golfed at least 10 rounds or more together over the years and it's something that I hope we can keep doing as we get older and our responsibilities take us all over the country.

I'm still a fairly miserable golfer who averages about one good drive for every nine holes, but my putting skill is marginally enough to keep our rounds vaguely competitive. Of course, I always take the entire round to explain (with tongue firmly in cheek) that my fashion sense makes up for my lack of golfing skills. To that point, I have always appreciated the unspoken dress code of golf. Even when we golf par 3s and crummy public courses, I jump at the chance to throw a sweater vest over a polo, get a matching cap and put on a pair of slacks or plaid shorts. The way I see it, if I can't be an accomplished golfer, I might as well give people the false impression that I am.

And obviously, the conversation is great. Golfing wouldn't be any fun alone. Even though we always have a full 20-30 minute car ride to and from the course, there's something about walking the fairways that makes it more special. We'll talk about girls or school or life in between mumbling curses for a wicked slice or a sand-seeking drive and it's just excellent. Tuesday's round was even better as we got to get together with a few guys afterward, sit on the patio and have a Swisher or two. A fitting end to the day for a couple of colleagues. Business as usual.

II. Business Lunches

Many a contract has been hashed out over lunch at a casual sit-down place, so Wednesday I seized the opportunity to catch up with a friend and tie it into my week of professionalism. Anna is one of the friends from high school that I really enjoy staying in touch with, and our time spent together generally takes the form of going out for lunch, thanks to our busy schedules of work and school. That strikes me as a very adult thing anyway - my parents each still have their friends they keep in touch with, but unless they're relatives or family friends, the preferred and sensible way to stay in touch is to meet for lunch hour.

For Wednesday's lunch, Anna and I got the obligatory "I'll have my people call your people" and secretary jokes out of the way to pick a time to hit the pictured restaurant and catch up a little about life over sandwiches. The restaurant was pretty decent, and the experience on the whole was quite pleasant, as our "business lunches" always are. I stayed and we talked for a while after lunch and then I had to hurry off to Madison to work a closing shift. Business as usual.

III. Tax Forms

Through all the politics and culture of the business world, the ultimate point of it for most of those involved is to put dinner on the table and a roof over the head. This of course requires a salary to be involved. And if there's a salary involved, then both Uncle Sam and Bucky Badger are going to want their cut of it.

Although I had a fast food job for 2 months in 2008, 2009 was my first year of pulling in any considerable income. There just wasn't any financial pull to work before and during my time at USF, but the transfer to UW changed everything - and I have put in quite a few hours at the bullseye as a result. The work is plenty, but the income is steady. Too bad I know it's all going to sail out the window at the end of the school year. I can only imagine what it would be like to be working and not paying for college...

But while 5 months of hourly wages isn't a huge chunk of change, it still requires all the due diligence of filling out all my federal and state tax forms. Thusly, the better part of Thursday morning was spent doing data entry with a W-2 in hand. I've been working for a while, but I feel like, despite being busy work, putting a finished tax return in the mailbox kind of legitimizes the idea that I have a job. And of course pulling in a refund makes the pencil pushing seem less wearisome. Business as usual.

IV. Gainful Employment

Hopefully this picture (or at least the tone of this whole blog) properly conveys the sense of self-deprecation and irony I have about my position in life. Now and then (with increasing frequency lately) I will have a spur of the moment decision to go to work in a sweater vest, tie, and maybe a fauxhawk or something, just for the heck of it. I can't say exactly why I love doing it so much, but I guess it must be some combination of the business-mindedness I talk about and the desire to break the monotony of such a job now and then. I used to call it "Shallow Blake goes to Work" but now it's almost expected of me to class up the place on occasion. At a workplace in which going above and beyond uniform-wise means tucking in your shirt, my exploits are generally noticed by higher ups. One particular day of overdressing led to one of my supervisors starting a store-wide best dressed competition, which I narrowly won (for the dayside team at least) thanks to a purchase of white suspenders and some parted and slicked hair. Your move, Don Draper.

And of course it's all meant to be taken with a grain of salt. Of the 40 hours I put in this past week, I only spent one shift dressed as the Duke of Backstock. The rest of it was just plain work, in just plain work clothes.

And that's what it comes down to for most of the businessmen of the world, as I understand. Just plain work. Sure there are goals to achieve, and business trips to take, and donuts in the conference room, but for all the build-up of the corporate ladder and office politics, the more I learn about careers the more I figure out that a lot of it is just...work.

Putting in a 40-hour workweek is something I will probably be doing for decades to come, but it was a fascinating change of pace from the college life. At school, there is a constant pressure, with constant deadlines - your responsibility doesn't even come close to ending when you leave the lecture hall.

For that reason, the 40-hour workweek seemed positive to me. Sure, 8 hours a day, 5 times a week is quite a commitment, but once you leave work, you're done with work. What a novel idea! I'd love to be able to have the luxury of separating my work life and family life down the road.

But of course, it's not all perfect. I can imagine how it could get monotonous at times, as I'm told by those around me who have started their careers. And yes, a lot of it is just work.

But maybe my current naivete and idealism about career life after college can serve me well. Maybe I will be able to find joy in the little details that I so jubilantly add to my life here and there. My dad's philosophies about not letting work interfere with faith and family have always resonated with me and served as a model for how I want to live my life in the future - even if it means denying an opportunity or accolade to better serve my Lord or the needs of my family.

So basically, while I make a big deal out of the little nuances of professionalism that strike me as exciting or interesting, I never want my job to be any higher of a priority than it should be. Here at Madison, there is an immense pressure to fully devote one's self to a trade, to show a true dedication to a line of study which would indicate an unquenchable ambition. But I'm reluctant to jump on that wagon. I understand what it would mean to give my all, to try my best, but to completely devote myself to a trade just to get ahead, just to cash in on success and pride and status? It doesn't appeal to me anymore. I'd rather not be defined by my work so much as by what kind of person I am, what kind of Christian I am, and, God-willing, what kind of husband and father I am.

I'd still like to succeed in whatever career field I end up in. I still fully intend to work hard at my studies and job. I just don't want it to be at the cost of those other, more important things. If I have to choose, I'd rather have my career be in the background to faith and family.

I'd rather it just be business as usual.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Out of Darkness

Today at work I found 50 dollars.

There it was, right on the floor by the office chairs and barstools. A ten wrapped in two twenties. No one around.

But of course, I was working.

I picked it up, and with a little thought, hunted down my manager within the store. I told her about it, they locked it up and told me that I'd get to keep it if no one claimed it within 30 days.

A little later in the day, I ran into the service desk lady, who told me that someone had come by right after I had dropped it off, not even knowing we had a lost and found, just to pick up an item on hold. While she was getting her item, she lamented aloud that she had lost some money earlier.

Of course, it was hers. The service desk lady told me that the customer told her she was "grateful" and glad that I found it.

50 dollars, each one returned to their rightful owner.

This story is pretty unremarkable. Everyone would do the right thing in that situation, right? Not to mention, I was at work. There's an added responsibility to me to keep an ethical code when I'm on the clock.

But...50 dollars is a chunk of change. 50 dollars is half of my week's wages. 50 dollars means I could skip a whole shift and not see the effect on my wallet. I came into work to cover for someone else's call-in the other night, causing me to have to stay up til 3 to finish my homework, and I didn't even make half of 50 dollars by doing so.

The point is, when you're in college, working hourly and facing debt and a bad market, 50 dollars is a lot of money.

I am not trying to make myself seem like a really good person here. It was the right thing to do, and I think basically everyone would have done the right thing in that position.

But what if I didn't always have to do the right thing? What if those years of Sunday School hadn't stuck with me? What if my parents hadn't held me to such a high standard?

Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul.

The whole situation just seemed like an metaphor to me. What were my pros and cons for that situation? If I pocket the money I get 50 dollars. If I turn it in I get the satisfaction of having done the right thing.

If I go out and get drunk I get fun and friends and to forget about my problems. If I decline I get the satisfaction of having done the right thing.

If I have sex I get immense physical and emotional pleasure. If I don't I get the satisfaction of having done the right thing.

So when do you get to trade in the satisfaction for prizes?

As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.

It seems to me that keeping the 50 is just like those things. I've certainly had my chances to do them. I've certainly been tempted to do them. Nearly everyone around me does them to great success and little consequence.

And it's all anyone talks about here. How drunk they got, who they slept with or wanted to sleep with or who wanted to sleep with them.

And I play along. Anytime something like that comes up, I coyly twist my words so that it seems like I share in the experiences, when in reality I don't and haven't. What am I doing?!

I want to fit in. I want to go to a party, play beer pong, get drunk, meet a girl and take her upstairs. I want to keep someone else's 50 dollars that I found while working. And it's as easy as just doing it. But I don't do it because I know that I shouldn't. That it would be a slap in the face to all the people who loved me enough to raise me and teach me in God's Word. A slap in the face to God.

And yet I weasel out of being bold about my desire to do what is right. I get marginalized for doing what is right, people look down on me and tell me that I'm young, I should live it up, I'm too uptight.

For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.

One of my biggest problems in recent years has been my lack of confidence. At times I am passive, submissive, obedient. That's not what girls look for in guys. They prefer trouble-makers, rebels, aggressive guys. I want to find a girl, so sometimes I think about how I can become less submissive and more of a trouble-maker. Less passive and more aggressive. Less obedient and more rebellious.

But why? It's so stupid! Are any of those things ultimately good qualities? When I'm at the gates after I die, am I going to proudly announce to God that he had ought to let me in because I made trouble and rebelled with my time on Earth? It sounds lame, but if it's not desirable in the eyes of God, then why should it be desirable in the eyes of anyone? And, on that note, why does that even sound lame? It shouldn't. It isn't.

Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men...Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king.

When I've discussed my views on the Wisconsin environment with friends who don't go here, I've usually said that there are two options - you can join in the sex and drinking with everyone else, or you can sit at home and complain about it.

I've tried desperately to do neither, but I often find myself falling into the latter category. Surely there must be a third option. Surely there is something better than joining in or complaining.

Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.

This semester, I've been participating in a small group Bible study with a handful of people from the chapel. I was torn on going in the beginning, and it admittedly started off a little bit slow, but ultimately it has been incredible. We're studying the book of 1 Peter in a very in-depth manner, and I can't say enough about it. 1 Peter is such a good book of the Bible.

As a background, 1 Peter was a letter written to Christians who were being persecuted for their faith as an encouragement to be holy and live for God even in times of suffering. It's so relevant and worthwhile for anyone whose life isn't perfect. So, it's relevant for anyone.

I would hardly consider alienation and temptation to count as suffering compared to getting killed for one's faith, but the same messages hold true - be holy and live for God.

So does living for God count as that third option from defiant sinning or complaining about it? I guess it does. I don't know how one can put "live for God" on the calendar for Friday night, but I do know that living for God doesn't entail defiant sin or idle complaint. I have yet to figure out what it means for me exactly, but if I'm not doing everything in my power to exercise that third option, my days are wasteful.

I'd really recommend reading through 1 Peter. It has given me so much perspective as I face the inner conflict of every Christian. Every italicized passage I've had in this post has been from 1 Peter and there were so many that I could have included but left out. I must have read through it 2 or 3 times tonight in bits and pieces, just because I'm so intrigued, because I have so many questions and because it has so many answers.

I have been doing a pretty good job of going to church while in college. I say my prayers every night and through the day, but over the past 2 years or so I've really been hiding from my Bible. Thank God I couldn't hide forever.

And the God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Proverbial Sunrise

I will be the first to admit that I have been well behind the curve for many of life's defining moments.

I didn't get my license until senior year of high school, I didn't start dating until college and I've still never been drunk.

However, today I have knocked off one of those things that everyone has done except me. I have finally pulled an all-nighter.

Well, I guess I haven't yet, but I am deep in the throes of one. I have only been awake 22 straight hours as of right now, but my classes don't end until 4:30, at which point I will have been awake 30 straight. Because I am obligated, assignment-wise, to go to both the first and last classes of my day.

And I'm feelin' ok right now. I originally had planned to go for a few hours of sleep, but at about 3:30 AM, still feeling productive with a lot still on the docket, I decided to call audible and go for the whole ball of yarn. The assist for the night goes to one of those huge cans of Starbucks Slurry. It's called an "Energy Coffee Drink" which admittedly makes me shudder a bit, but it didn't taste as bad as your standard Monster/Red Bull and kept me lively all night. I suppose I have finally turned to the dark side of coffee, although on the other hand I'm not sure if that stuff even counts as coffee. Either way, it's not something of which I wish to make a habit.

All told, it was really only a matter of time before I had to pull the ol' 24-in-a-row. College (especially Madison) is a lot of work, and I've gotten lucky on due date overlapping for the most part thus far, so eventually the luck had to run out.

And today was a veritable perfect storm. My to-do list contained an online quiz for Marketing, a 4 page paper, an unrelated speech, and 85 pages of reading in Journalism and 100 pages of reading about which I must lead a discussion today for Lit. Separately, not too big of a deal for any of those, but together it made for quite the Tuesday night.

Did I procrastinate somewhat? Yes. However, do you procrastinate somewhat? Yes. I'm just trying to make the best of it at the moment. Someday I will learn my lesson, potentially today if and when I hit the wall in a few hours during class. I still must give a speech today. Oh man.

I had a bunch of things to say concerning the journalism assignment itself, but that will have to wait. My efforts now must go into being able to stay awake for the next few classes.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

With glowing hearts

You know, when the Winter Olympics start, I always make a point to myself how much less interesting they are than the Summer Olympics. The Summer Olympics, after all, have so many delightful fringe sports like badminton and sailing...how could the far smaller competition schedule of the Winter Olympics even compete?

However, for whatever reason, I have been watching this year's Winter Olympics religiously. I've never taken the time to watch any other Olympics this much, although I do admit I've kinda kept it to two sports: hockey and curling.

Hockey is a kind of a no-brainer for me to watch. It was the first sport I ever got into when I was very little, and I'm really starting to follow and appreciate it more and more. I think any fan of soccer can appreciate hockey and vice versa. There are a lot of tactical similarities and the low scoring is definitely an acquired taste. But I'll stand by it. The euphoria from one soccer/hockey goal is completely unmatched by most touchdowns, home runs and...three pointers?

I confess that the appeal of basketball is really starting to be lost on me. Sorry Badgers. I'll probably get back into it during march madness.

Heck, right now the reason I'm up this late for blogging is that I'm watching the Czech Republic take on Slovakia in hockey. The west-coastery of Vancouver makes for some pretty late live hockey, but this has been quite a good game. Not to mention the added storyline of former countrymen. It's like if the South had won and the Confederacy was playing the Union. Czechoslovakia didn't break up all that long ago.

But the Czechs are taking it right now, 3-1. Surely it is due to Jaromir Jagr, who at 38 years old is still sorta the man. He was the best in the league when I was little. It's hard to cheer against the Czechs when they have the nostalgia points. Of course the USA is my first choice though.

The other sport, curling, is more of a surprise. Yes, a lot of people watch curling ironically, because it is admittedly pretty funny that such a non-physically demanding competition can be considered an olympic sport. However, the strategy is actually pretty interesting once you give it a chance. It's like a weird oversized game of chess on ice.

The thing that draws me to it is the makeup of the teams. The American team (which actually ended up being pretty terrible this year) is from Duluth, Minnesota, and it's made up of 4 regular joes who curl and drink beer together with their free nights. That's it. It's basically a glorified suburban bowling team, competing for medals on international TV.

And that's really appealing to me. I think it would be really fun to take up curling with some friends. I know that Madison has a curling club with leagues and tournaments, and I envision it basically being like a tighter-knit version of a bowling league. Sure, we'd be competing, but the idea is to go out with the guys and just hang out, shoot the bull. All the while rolling a stone down a sheet of ice and sweeping in front of it. We could wear flannel, and have a cigar outside afterward. It just strikes me as a great northwoods man-bonding experience.

I think I'll make my way over to the Madison Curling Club some time and figure out how feasible it is to pick up curling as a hobby. So thanks, Winter Olympics. Every time you come around, I doubt you. But you find a way to set me straight. You're a cool customer, Vancouver.

Friday, February 05, 2010

It's not too late!

I am entirely incapable of accomplishing anything worthwhile once classes are done on Friday. It probably would have been good to send some resumes out today, but I had classes and a meeting and I need to write like 5 cover letters. Boo. I need to acquire some consistent motivation.

The resumes I need to send are as a result of last night's UW career fair, which was a chance for me to return to my ambitious, career-minded, tie-wearing self that I had more or less abandoned during last summer. Last summer I went from juggling corporate interviews to begging for hourly work, and the tease of the whole thing ended up being pretty demoralizing. It wasn't something I even wanted to think about until recently, and now I'm getting right back into resume mode. I'm one year older, have more experience, and go to a Big Ten school. The chance is there now.

I'm still up against it though. While I'm sure there were other people my age at the career fair, nearly everyone I encountered was graduating a lot sooner than I am. Heck, for one of my more promising leads from the fair I stood and waited behind a guy with a marketing degree and 5 years of post-college experience.

I would argue that I looked better in a sweatervest though.

When I consider my disappointment last year at not getting ultra-impressive work, it almost seems delusional. In such a tight job market, who in Madison would want to hire some 18 year old kid from the University of South Florida? But the search started off with so much promise. The part of spring break I was most excited for was a job interview on one of my first days back in Wisconsin. That interview went pretty well, but I ended up turning them down because I had two other interviews that I was more excited about. One of those interviews was my only one with the company (I was competing with college graduates), but the other one led to another interview, which they were willing to postpone until I came home from school.

The feeling was pretty good. I had made myself marketable enough to appeal to an established company from far away. My hopes were so high when I came in for the second interview, which I figured was to seal the deal. With my finest (only) suit and some tips from the parents, I had what I thought was a really good interview. The HR rep even started off by describing the job, payment, and schedule. Then the interview. Then she told me that they had filled the position and they might be interested for the fall.

Hey, thanks for bringing me in, though.

It must have been HR training week or something. It was good interview experience, I guess, but man. The feeling was deflating.

And the rest is history. I didn't get so much as a second glance from then (early May) until late July. I would have understood if no interest had ever come my way, but to be in demand early on and then have all leads go completely cold was brutal.

It was probably good for me, though. At USF, with the grades and the test scores and the scholarship perks, I was able to convince myself pretty well that I was hot stuff. The early job search success confirmed that to me, but God finds a way to bring you down a peg if you get a little too high on yourself.

And that humbling has been ongoing for a little while. Thanks to working long hours and relapsing into my diffident self (something that I had avoided for a few years), I've been the definition of a wallflower at UW.

But I've been feeling good, getting back into the groove of things. This week has seemed like a rebound from the crummy end of last year. I got to throw on a tie and a vest and promote myself as a potential employee and it felt good. I had to write a big 'ol paper for the base class of my new major and it felt good. I had a meeting with a sales subcommittee of the student org I just joined and it felt good. Feels good, man.

This is going to sound weird but...at certain points of my life, my left eyelid will twitch periodically throughout the day. I only remember it happening twice before - in the weeks leading up to high school graduation, and the first couple of weeks in Tampa. Those were both times of incredible excitement and anticipation. The months after the twitching, in both cases, were phenomenal.

Well, my left eyelid is twitching again. I noticed it at the start of this week. Now, either I'm just enjoying everything more because I feel like I should be (what a strange response to an involuntary twitch!), or the tic is a delightful little indicator. Either way, though, I'm feeling positive. There are still a lot of things I could be happier with, but I'm on my way.

I'm heading out tonight. The job search is beginning. School is going well. I've got a place to live next year. Watch out, Madison. I'm comin' back.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Keep it steady now

4 times flying out of Tampa since starting school there, 4 times blogging about it in the airport.

My weekend to visit old friends and my old city has come to a close. In a word, it was phenomenal.

I concocted the idea to visit Tampa one cold fall night in my UW dorm room. I don't remember the exact circumstances, but I was sitting alone in there, feeling bummed about something (who knows what, it could have been anything last semester), so I thought to myself, "why not visit my old friends in Tampa?" I found some pretty good deals online for my trip on a whim, and was all set to go on my own. I presented the idea to my parents sometime that weekend, and the prices were good enough that they suggested that the whole family go there for vacation in January.

This saved me the 150 or so dollar cost that I would have incurred flying down there on my own dime, so the idea was fairly appealing to me. I love when daydreams become reality.

I have made no secret about my continuing love for the city of Tampa. The weather is great, the bay is beautiful, the people are friendly and the girls are pretty (and not repulsed by me). During my first semester at UW, I frequently questioned my decision to return home from USF. I was actually turning a profit by going to school, getting awesome grades, living in a city I loved with a great climate. and, for part of it, dating. The reasons I came home are still in place, but those other intangibles have clearly gotten worse. UW-Madison is not cheap. My UW GPA is terrible. Madison is cold as hell...isn't, and the single college girls are, on the whole, less interesting and more superficial.

But I mean, UW's a better school? And that's ultimately what matters, I guess. I still have to convince myself that it's worth it, but I keep trying.

So fast forward however many weeks ago that this idea was born, and here I am giving the recap post.

Our trip began on Thursday the 7th with an afternoon Milwaukee to Tampa flight. We didn't do much outside of travel that day, but we did get dinner at one of my favorite Tampa restaurants. That was a theme for the trip. We ate so much and so well, it will practically take another semester of inconsistent college eating to lose the extra weight gained from all the amazing southern cooking. Oh man.

Friday was the first chance to see any friends. After switching rooms due to ants (Weird.), my parents took Evan and I to the apartment of John and Cameron. John was a high school friend of Maggie's, but I hung out with him much more than Maggie did as the school year wore on. He met his girlfriend Cameron during while Maggie and I were dating and they've now got a nice place together. They're both about 4-5 years older than I am, but I loved hanging out with them while I was at USF.

This was Evan's first time meeting them and they seemed to hit it off pretty well. I caught up with them, they served us chicken-fried steak and potatoes (I am a fan) for dinner and we went bowling. Eventually they took us back to the hotel and there ended friday's festivities.

Saturday was an absolute BLAST. After a lunch at Chick-fil-A (which might be my favorite fast food meal, and something that I had to introduce to Evan on this trip), my parents dropped Evan and I off at USF's campus. It still feels like home, ya know.

At campus I got to see Kelli and Jenna, who are both RAs now and one of my old roommates, Drew. They're all still high-quality folks.

We had made designs to go to a women's basketball game (which is something I had only done once while attending USF, but no other sports had home games that weekend) that night, so we met up with John and Cameron who took us from campus to James' apartment.

James was one of my 3 roommates and was probably the one I spent the most time with. I liked all of my roommates but James and I had sports fandom in common. He, John and I established a soccer fan culture at USF that I hope continues once we leave, and the three of us were always sure to never miss a USF football game, screaming in the stands at home or screaming at John's TV away. And after Maggie and I broke up, smoking cigars behind the dorm with James did something to keep me sane.

The funny thing about that last part is that Maggie and James are dating now. I'm a fan of this, as they're both good people and it's that much easier to stay in touch with each of them if they're dating. I can't help but chuckle a bit at it though. Don't read anything into that, it just...strikes me I guess.

Maggie was over at James' place when we got there, so Evan got to meet her for the first time. Pleasantries were exchanged and they grilled some pregame burgers. It was good to see Maggie again, and nice to see her more as an old friend and not as much as an ex-girlfriend.

After dinner we went to the game. My old USF ID (which also got us 10% discounts at a few restaurants on the trip) got me into the game for free, and Evan got in free as a guest of the group of us students. Free sporting events for students is a sweet deal.

Because a lot of the student body hadn't returned to campus yet (classes started monday), and because USF students are less than enthusiastic about basketball (both women's and men's), there was hardly anyone there. As a result, we basically got to control the cheers of the student section.

John pretty much already does his share of cheer management at most USF sporting events, considering he was recently distinguished for having attended the most sporting events of ANY student last semester, which, if continued through the rest of the year, will be rewarded with on-field passes to our game against the Florida Gators next year. Which would be incredible.

As we watched our team get disassembled by #25-ranked Georgetown pretty much right out of the gate, we got to at least have fun with the cheering. We stood in the front row of the student section and it was pretty clear that whatever we yelled would be heard by everyone on the court. It's hilarious to get reactions to the things you yelled from D-1 athletes during a televised game.

Evan and I were even able to bring back some of our cheers from Lakeside days, like "ole!" after 3-pointers and the progression of "We want a basket!" into things that kind of rhyme with it, like "Paper or plastic!" and "Monks are monastic!" However, unlike Lakeside, the other USF fans appreciated the off-the-wall cheering. You'd be amazed the at the dirty looks that you could get from supporting your team in high school. I guess we disrupted their texting or something.

We got on TV and the arena screen quite a few times too. The game was only televised in the state of Florida, but we could see from the press monitor that the camera was relying on us for crowd shots. Celebrity USF fans, I tell ya, and Evan never even went to school there.

Sometime early in the game, an arena promotions guy was milling around, looking for people to participate in one of those halftime on-court entertainment games. My aforementioned friend Kelli suggested that Evan and I volunteer, and we got picked to do it. Basically, the game we did on the court consisted of us starting at half-court, taking a layup, and racing back to half-court with the slowest person getting eliminated. The prize was a 25-dollar iTunes giftcard (and adulation, of course).

Given that Evan and I were 2 of the 4 people chosen for the game, odds of a Samanas victory were pretty good. Evan and I made our first two rounds of layups with ease and the other two players were cut, leaving it to an all-Samanas final round (which is pretty legit, because we can just share the music). During the final round, the Bulls mascot did me a solid by harassing Evan's path to the basket, and I came away the victor of the night. Talk about sibling rivalry coming to a boil. I was originally just worried about not tripping or airballing a layup (is that possible?).

Oh, and I caught a shirt too. I just have to get as much free stuff from USF as possible, I guess.

Evan and I made further fools of ourselves by loudly complimenting the shoes of one of the dance team members (the joke is that they all have the same shoes, see), which led to her cracking up during the routine. We added her on Facebook then, obviously.

The game ended heavily in the favor of the visiting Hoyas and we eventually bid everyone goodbye. Back to the hotel, and there ended Saturday.

Sunday was spent mostly with the family. We went to service at Northdale, the WELS church I attended weekly while I was living in Tampa. It was really good to see everyone from the church who helped me with the transition, including the family who gave me a ride to church and Bible study every Sunday. Being held accountable for going to church every week was really key for me in my first year away from home.

After church we drove the half-hour across the bay to St. Petersburg for grouper sandwiches at The Hurricane, something that we have done almost every time we've visited the area. You can't turn down fresh Florida seafood when all you can get in Wisconsin is frozen cod.

When we got back to the hotel we settled in to watch the Packers playoff game. I'm too disappointed to say much more about that one. I still love ya, Aaron Rodgers.

Once we had dinner, we were too exhausted to do a whole lot more. We watched a little TV and I fell asleep hours before I usually do.

And here we are, Monday, the last day of the trip. We did a little shopping by the airport (5 dollars for a new official Buccaneers hat? Deal!) and prepared to take off. Which is where I started this post. In the obviously completely sweet Tampa airport.

Like one of the previous "Bruised" posts, I've actually written most of this in the plane. The 893 from Tampa to Milwaukee remains a great flight. On the plane, we got to watch the sun set over the Gulf of Mexico right before we reached the Florida Panhandle. Breathtaking! I won't gush about it as much as I have in past posts, but it's absolutely gorgeous.

So that's where I am now. We'll probably be landing within the next half hour, and I'll have a week or so to shake off the renewed wanderlust for Tampa Bay before I start up again at UW.

My livelihood is in Madison, my family is in Lake Mills, and sometimes my heart is in Tampa. In time I'll figure out the balance of the three.

Saturday, January 02, 2010

Light in the dark as I search for the resolution - 2010

Relationships
1. Finish the year proud of the relationship decisions I've made.
In the past year and a half, I've over-analyzed, acted before thinking, convinced myself of things I didn't believe, given up, and just about everything in between. This isn't particularly different from last year's, but with new wording comes new progress?

Experiences
2. Take a new pineapple picture
Some would call the pineapple/'myspace mirror shot' profile picture iconic. I mean, actually probably not, but I always felt like it captured me a bit better than any other picture could. I don't really look like I did as a sophomore in high school (or even close for that matter), so it could use an update.

3. Attend an NHL game
I've been to games in the NFL, MLB, NBA, MLS and several NASCAR races (in addition to 3 international soccer matches and lots of college football, basketball, hockey, and soccer), but despite being a pretty big fan of the EXTREMELY underrated National Hockey League (primarily the Tampa Bay Lightning) I've never been to a pro game. Obviously a lot of this would be chalked up to there not being a pro hockey team in Wisconsin, but that's a pretty bad excuse since I lived in an NHL market for a year. I'd like my first NHL experience to be a Lightning game, but I think I'd enjoy it either way.

(I like sports way too much for my own good. Being a Sportscenter anchor is like my dream job.)

4. Watch the DVD of "Hotel Rwanda" that I own
Because I got it for free at Target. It's probably a good movie, I'd imagine.

5. Drive in a state that I haven't driven in before.
Therefore, any state that isn't Wisconsin, Minnesota, Illinois, Florida or Georgia. Road trip implications! OR just a stupid day trip to Iowa and back.

6. Celebrate Stabby the Green Pepper Day
And hopefully get others to celebrate what is obviously a great holiday.

Personal Improvement/Achievement
7. Get a legitimate summer internship with a legitimate company.
Hopefully I'm in a much better position to get a respectable summer internship than I was last year. The biggest thing, though, is that even if I don't get the kind of resume-improving job that I want, I at least have a pretty solid job with the ol' Targs that I really wouldn't mind working all summer.

8. Play soccer competitively
I'm on the books with a local club team, but I've already had to turn down an invite to their first winter tune-up league. I'm hoping I can get to playing some tuneups with some of the guys on the team before hopefully joining up in time for the full 11v11 spring outdoor league. Intramurals eat your heart out, this is mildly legit!

How is this a resolution, you ask, if I'm already on the team? Well, the reason I haven't been able to play yet is that I've been way too busy with other stuff. Hopefully I'll have a better outlook next semester with improved classes and a diminished work schedule.

9. Do something creative on a large(r than usual) scale
Well this is generic. I do a fair amount of creative things throughout the year, but I'd like to create something for the sake of creating something. Record a new song, make a short film, write a book. None of that stuff is particularly productive, but it's refreshing. I'm not trying to write the great American novel or something, but it's an escape that I've been mostly keeping myself from.

10. Serve the Chapel in a capacity that I have not yet served
I'm a fan of the Chapel but I haven't been able to spend much time there in my first semester at Madison. I've lent a hand here and there but I'd like to get a lot more involved, whether that means being a housefellow or not.

11. Go Running
This doesn't even have to be regularly, I just haven't made an attempt at it in some time. I have a feeling that with a little training I'd be a whole lot better at it by now than I ever had been before.

12. Swear less
Ok, for serious this time.

13. Pay off my sophomore year student loans
It would be great to be just about caught up. Getting the first year free was a huge blessing.

14. Accomplish at least half of my New Year's Resolutions
Because last year's last resolution was a stretch.