Dancel and Metal and the search for the Keebler Elf

This is a fairy tale I wrote sometime for creative writing in grade school, and I just found it while looking at old junk in the basement. I completely forgot I ever wrote it, but it's pretty hilarious to look back at, so here it is word for word.

Part I

Once upon a time, when elephants always forgot, and Michael Jackson was normal, there was a brother and sister named Dancel and Metal. Unlike their friends, they lived with a witch named Mrs. Fields in a gingerbread house in the forest. Every day they went into the enchanted forest and said hello to their friends. They passed the four little pigs - the typical ones, and their less famous brother Clarence. They passed Snow White and the six dwarves (R.I.P. Dopey) and the mansion of the Keebler Elf.
Sometimes, though, they would go to town and not even pass through the enchanted forest. Today was one of those days. They came into town, and Daisyfeather, the bakery owner, wasn't wearing his usual smile. Dancel and Metal immediately knew something was wrong. Metal inquired the proprietor's long face.
"Haven't you heard?" he snapped, "the Keebler Elf is missing!"
Dancel and Metal replied in unison, "Oh no, what will we do?"
"I dunno," quipped Daisyfeather, with a far-off look in his eyes.
"We need to find the Keebler Elf, and soon," said Dancel.

Part II

Dancel and Metal scurried back to the old gingerbread house, where Mrs. Fields was throwing out another batch of botched cookies.
"That'll be the day when I beat that dad-burned Keebler Elf at baking," she muttered to herself.
"Mrs. Fields! Mrs. Fields! The Keebler Elf was kidnapped!" yelled the kids as they entered the house.
"Oh, um....that's, uh, too bad," replied the kindly old witch, holding back a smile. Definitely quite, um, a tragedy. He'll be missed," she said, desperately trying not to chuckle.
"He's not dead yet," replied the kids matter-of-factly, "At least we don't think he is."
"So sad, seeing that he'll miss the World Cookie Championship. I guess I'll just have to beat him," she sighed in mock sadness. Dancel and Metal exchanged glances suspiciously. They decided to go out into the forest and discuss the mystery. Both of them agreed that Mrs. Fields was acting strange when the kidnapping was mentioned. They decided to go talk to Daisyfeather about it.

Part III

The tandem entered the bakery to see two other customers talking to Daisyfeather. Dancel and Metal asked the shopkeeper about the two customers.
"This is Shortbread Ned and Macaroon June. They're here for the World Cookie Championship," he answered, "They're a husband-wife team who has blown away the competition in all the regional meets. They've come here hoping to defeat the top two finishers of the last two championships - The Keebler Elf and Mrs. Fields. Speaking of Mrs. Fields, she's supposed to be here dropping off her entry for the judging. Do you kids know where she is?"
Suddenly, the couple slipped out the door. They ran into their horse and buggy and galloped away. In the light, Dancel could make out the outlines of the Keebler Elf and Mrs. Fields.
"They're the kidnappers! We need to stop them!" screamed Metal.
Dancel looked around. Suddenly, he saw Harry Potter, who was munching on some Bertie Botts Every-Flavour Beans.
"Put a spell on that carriage! We need to stop them!"
Harry pointed his wand toward the buggy and yelled, "Evil-us Carriage-us vanishium!" and the entire buggy disappeared except for Mrs. Fields and the Keebler Elf.
"How did that work?" Harry questioned, "I did the completely wrong spell!"
"Well, this is a fairly tale," replied Mrs. Fields. Everybody laughed and, of course, lived happily ever after.