I'm not going to lie to you. I see these people when asked about their marital status - "single and loving it!" Well, you won't see any of that from me. I'm single, and rather not loving it. I'm sure those people who say they are "single and loving it" aren't trying to convince others, they're trying to convince themselves more than anything.
Dating is a tricky subject. I'm sure no one reading this had to hear that from me. But I've been wondering...
When is the line crossed from "I have feelings for that person" to "I'm fulfilling my own needs"?
This has been a great uncertainty in my mind, and I go back and forth on it. Let's take a look at my example:
I have been single for as long as I've been alive. Which isn't saying much at all, considering I've only been alive these 15 years. So I'm definitely not saying I've got it the worst, because I know I'm nowhere near it.
But nonetheless, I, being a male teenager, would like to have a girlfriend. So I've been wondering - is it fair to date someone just to give yourself mental peace of mind? I think I see this too much, people are only in relationships for themselves, not for the other person. This is probably a huge contributor to the incredibly high divorce rate today.
So I think it's not fair to others to only try to satisfy their needs in any relationship. Granted, it's high school, and most of these relationships mean nothing. But I don't know. I guess it's just something I think of a lot.
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You're in good company. I've been single as long as I've been alive to, and that's eighteen years. Well, when you're as sexy as you and I are, it's obvious that all the girls are just intimidated.
This kind of reminds me of the jr staff Christmas party...
"3 days!!!"
i feel like im on the wrong side of the coin on this one but ill try to answer your question from my vast experience with being on either side, single: 18.5 years and dating: 2 weeks. ill start with a different question. is it better to be in a relationship completely for yourself or completely for the other person? with this i think its like alot of things, you have to be in the middle. you obviously cant be in a relationship simply for yourself. but at the same time if you are simply in the relationship to make the other person happy but without liking the girl, you are cheating yourself and the other person because if they were serious about you, they would want you to be happy with them. that leads me to your question because the feelings we have for that person are in many ways generated from our needs. bassically God made us sexual beings so we want to have sex as well as enjoy the company of members of the opposite sex in different ways than the members of the same sex. we also receive from God the capacity to love each other especially members of the opposite sex. these two things need to be balanced as well. you prolly noticed in my first question that it was kind of contradictory for person to want to make the other person happy and not want to be in a relationship with them. so that when those things are balanced it is better to care more about the other person than yourself. so you should also balance more on the feelings and less on the needs. but that line is gonna be individual for every person. and the truth ive figured out is your never gonna be sure on either side until the questions in your head change to am i ready to marry this person, and then your into a whole new set of problems. now thats alot of thinking without alot of substance or help to you. some more practical advice would be, if you like the girl you should ask her on a date and see what happens from there.
It's chapstick and chapped lips and things like chemistry. That's the problem, man.
That question is sounding quite familiar. There are so many ways to look at all of the questions we have. Some of them are obviously better than others, but when it comes down to it, it's that way for everyone. Teenagers have an insatiable knack for asking questions that they can't answer. It's like writing a song that you can hear in your head but can't play. Sooner, or possibly later, something will just fit. Until then, you've got awesome friends and and the God who gave you the mind to create all those questions.
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